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THE NEW TAYLOR DO:
The Initial Reaction: Well Jeez, it's about time. The next consecutive reations: Reaction #2: Wow. That is SO my haircut. Don't believe me? This is [really me]. Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not actually Carnie Wilson. Reaction #3: Man, I was expecting so much more than that. That's not a Haircut. That's a haircut. No wait. That's more like a Trim. Nah. That might even be a trim. Our thoughts regarding the style: Eh. It's cute. It's a little too Silverchair for my tastes, but what can you do? Mature New Sound must inevitably carry with it a Mature New Look. The thing is, this is actually "a style." Mom can't just trim the ends when it starts to get shaggy. You need to go to Victor's Euro Salon or something. Oh. Mental image of Taylor in a salon. Not a good thing at all. The aftermath: Aren't you just waiting for the posts at the Hanson Yahoo Club that look like this… "OMG!!! I can't even believe my Taylez cut his hair!!! He'z gonna look soooooo UGLY!!!! Im never gonna listen to they're CD again!!! ~I_hAvE_TaYz_lOvE_cHiLd@yahoo.com" Chief Concern of the Moment: Uhh… What do Ike and Zac look like? I mean, was this a family deal here? Or was Tay the only ambitious one? Or was it just getting close to that time when they need to shoot the album cover? Can't you just see the wheels spinning in the heads of those record execs… "Hmm, I think if these kids are so darn set on playing their own instruments, we should at least exert some creative control and make them get haircuts." They love torturing us: Notice how Hansonline is only giving us pictures of Tay? They love making us suffer. They know that we're all on edge wondering whether Ike or Zac is bald. Will they give us so much as one picture? No. How about another shot of Tay in front of the lava lamp… The other issue: Umm… now I haven't really gotten a good look at it. (Thanks Hansonline for those high quality pics. We appreciate it.) But does it seem a little girly to you? I dunno, but I just think that Tay really doesn't need more of that sort of thing, if you catch my drift. I mean, maybe it's really cute! Who knows? We'll just have to wait and see. Bottom Line: Good God, it's only hair. The Ike Do The initial reaction: Wait. That's not Isaac The next consecutive reations: Reaction #2: Wait. The hands. That is Isaac. Reaction #3: DEAR GOD! Reaction #4: You look like… a BOY! Reaction #5: Wow. That is so incredibly hot. Our thoughts regarding the style: Oh wow. I like it so much. Ike, you look like such a college boy! It makes us squeal a lot, it surely does. And now that all of the weight is gone, it's going to be all curly. I dont' think any of us were expecting anything that fabulous. Wow. Bravo. Excuse me while I catch my breath. The aftermath: Crap. Now all of those silly girls who think he's ugly are going to love him and we'll have to fight them off too. Chief Concern of the Moment: Ok guys. Enough teasing. Show us the little one. They love torturing us: Ok, so, you had to give us a "video" of all things? Stop trying to pretend that these are just ordinary studio pics. You know that the sole purpose of posting these is so that we can all see the hair. Why not just give us a basic mug shot of each of them? And how about using a flash while you're at it? The other issue: Like we didn't love him enough in the first place… The Ike Bottom Line: I like it. It's sexy. THE ZAC DO: The Anticipation Rant: OK, so where the heck is Zac? All I know is that I'm getting terribly frustrated here. I'm sure the folks at Hansonline think they're being terribly cute, but they're just being well… pretty retarded. And I'm getting the feeling that it actually is real honest-to-goodness teasing. It's not like Taylor's dorky cartilege piercing. With that whole incident, they didn't give us any pictures at all. We figured it out for ourselves. But this time, I'm just feeling incredibly manipulated, and that's just not cool at all. I mean, I'm all for a little angst here and there, but really, if you had friends who did stuff like that to you, you wouldn't hang around with them much. And then there's other things to consider: The longer they wait to show us the picture, the higher the risk someone else will do it first and ruin their scoop. Honesly, at this point, I'm so frustrated with them, I hope it happens. Corinne's theory is that the boy really doesn't like the haircut and that he refuses to have his new look shown to the nation until it gets fixed. My theory is that young Zachary is looking pretty different these days without his trademark locks and isn't getting recognized much when he goes out to get icecream. And I'm also thinking he enjoys it. Of course, maybe there's another point to this whole thing. Maybe we're not supposed to care. Maybe Hanson is sick of us caring about dumb things like their hair. Maybe we're being punished for our own shallowness. Talk about a whalloping example of Instant Karma. Oh well. I truly wouldn't mind all of this so much if Hansonline wasn't so bent on showing us more pictures of Tay and the lava lamp. Frankly guys, I'd rather see pictures of the wall. Oh wait, you've given us those too… Wait. I'm Confused: What are you trying to do to us here? Hansonline really needs to stop the cute little mind games right this second. First of all, did everyone see the [picture of Tay] they posted yesterday (9.28)? Comment #1: Haul out the fire extinguisher. Tay you are so hot. Comment #2: Thank you for utilizing the flash. We were happy to see that, yes we were. It's a nice illustration of the do. Not that we were really looking at your hair sweetie pie… And then they went and did it to us again. Check out [today's picture] (9.29). Um. Are my admittedly bad eyes deceiving me, or does Mr. Isaac appear to have long hair in that picture? Let us put the pieces together. Tay has short hair. Ike has long. So…you guys got your hair cut on different days? Why? I mean, save Dad a trip. Go together. And what does that mean for Zac? When, if at all, did he cut his hair? What's going on here?! Why is this getting more and more like the Twilight Zone every second?!! Aside from that, this picture proves that the endless Tay Series of pictures we're being made to suffer through are old. (Not that I'm suffering all that much.) Because Ike has no hair now. I think. Unless the pictures of Tay are indeed new, and Ike is wearing a wig in the latest picture. Somehow though, I really don't think so. Or, the video of "Ike playing the guitar" could be a forgery. Or the latest studio picture could be a forgery. Or maybe if you play Where's the Love backwards, you can hear Zac screaming "I buried Tay!" Wow this is frustrating. I honestly think, that if there is one single event that could push me over the edge, it could be this. Can't you just see the headlines… "Webmaster Institutionalized: Hanson Hair Conspiracy Cited as Cause" The Insanity Continues: So did everyone check the new studio picture today (10.1)? I know I did. I checked it at 7:30 this morning, right before my class. And it was a new picture. In fact, it was of the back of Tay's head, which is rather amusing. But I must admit, it was yet another pleasant illusration of the new hair. Then I came back from lunch and checked it again. Guess what? It was gone. How completely un-kidding am I? In it's place, was the same picture that was posted yesterday. You know the one. The one of Ike with the camcorder, etc. Well obviously they posted a new picture and then took it down. How can you prove this? Well, the second picture they posted, the one of the back of Tay's head, which I saw this morning, is still up on Hansonline. The link to it, however, is gone. You can still access it though. [Click here and see]. I have no idea what is happening here. I had said something earlier about losing my mind over this. Well I think Hansonline's webmaster may have already lost his. Getting a little uppity, are we? (10.5) Well now, if that isn't the most blatant piece of protest I've ever seen. Talk about subtle. A picture of… guitars. Thank you so much. We appreciate it. Truly. The (Non) Zac Do: Truth Revealed 10.25.99 Dear Entertainment Weekly. We thank you for your efforts. And to everyone else… pack up your stuff and leave. Nothing more to see here. That will be all. The Bottom Line:
Wow. It's amazing how worked up we get over nothing.
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