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If Only | This Time Around | American Badass (Kid Rock) | Be With You (Enrique Iglesias) |
| Testosterone-laden boy-vehicle | Motorcycles doing fancy tricks, 4-wheelers, RV | Scooter | One gigantic fleet of Hell's Angels on motorcycles doing fancy tricks | Motorcycles doing fancy tricks |
| Arty location | Arid, rocky/desert-like place with snow capped mountains in the distance | Dusty cavernous hotel | Arid, rocky/desert-like place with snow capped mountains in the distance | Arid, rocky/desert-like place with snow capped mountains in the distance |
| Vermin | Large, hairy tarantula | Large, hairy rat named Otto | Joe C | Large, hairy mole on Enrique's face |
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| Obligatory party | Day of Fun in the Desert! | "Rave in the Basement" | Redneck Orgy | New-age, sexy Latin dance party, sans Jennifer Lopez |
| Unnecessary debauchery | Camp-fire gropage for Isaac and the short-haired girl | Pointless basement smooch | Gaggles of half-naked strippers, mud wrestling, etc. | Girl graphically and lasciviously grabs Enrique's bum, topless girl on the rock, many a half-naked breast. |
| Probable Taylor reaction | "Dang, I look good." | "Dang, I look good." | "Ew, but they're so dirty." | "How come girls don't grab my bum in our videos?" |
| Probable Kid Rock reaction | "The one singing in the jean vest, she's a fox." | "Little one thinks he's me, huh?" | "I'm so cool." | "Jennifer Lopez is awesome. I'd do her." |