ALBUM WHATEVER:

So apparently, someone got an e-mail address, hacked it, and is pretending to be Taylor. "Taylor" is telling folks that the new album will be called MOElennium. To quote a very wise woman, "If you name your album that, you have no self-esteem."

MOElennium:

Oh no. Please. You can't. The Backstreet Boys. Remember them? Do you want to be associated with folks like that? The press would jump all over it, they surely would. Plus anything with the -ennium suffix must inevitably go hand in hand with a really sleek, silver, geometric design concept. I don't know about you, but the songs I've been hearing from the new Hanson album sound more rock than anything else, a throwback rather than any sort of statement on techno or synthesizers or digital vocal alteration. We'll leave that to Jennifer Lopez, thanks. This title gives me these horrible mental images of Hanson dancing around in a dark room with a disco ball to really bad techno. For that reason alone, this title can never ever happen.

Album X

It's a dumb name. Why? It's so painfully obvious and overused and cliche and everything else. Also it tries far too hard to be "the last thing you would expect." Guess what? We've all heard it so many times, it's the first thing we would expect… from an outfit like the Backtreet Boys. Why not call it "The Untitled Album," or better yet, "This Album Has No Title." Dumb dumb dumb. The Beatles already did it a couple of decades ago. Know why it worked for them? They were first. Sorry.

Laura's Votes for the New Album Title

  • Three Car Garage : The Dance Mixes
  • ITZ FantaZtic!!
  • Smarter, Taller and Prettier Than You
  • Shut Up and Hanson
  • Monster Ballads
  • {{--||*//`~#^^Hanson^^#~`\\*||--}}
  • Y2Tay
  • Chapter 3 : Better than the Moffatts
  • And Mmmbop Isn't Even On It!
  • HANSON RULES
  • Heeeere's Jonny!
  • The Sophomore Effort
  • The Orange Album
  • Taylor Hanson and Friends
  • ::British accent:: Hanson Has Achieved Superfame
  • The Taylor Hanson Band
  • The Taylor Hanson Project
  • Girl Hair
  • The Second Coming, Sort Of
  • I Love You Laura
Other Possibilities

The Hip Hop Title : We Really Know How to Make you Scream, Baby
The Teenie Title : Shimmering Sparkle Hanson
The Goth Title : Hanson Sucks
The Porn Title : Album XXX : All Taylor, All the Time
The Boy Band Title : You are the Girl That I Love, Girl

Bottom Line:
Not MOElennium. Please. PLEASE.

Truth Revealed 1.19.99

This Time Around. The Bright and Beautiful verdict? Unanimous thumbs up. Why? It's not a We've Got Something to Prove title (like say… No Strings Attached). It's more of an acknowledgment, that this is not the beginning or the rebirth or the end of Hanson. It's the next phase, a small piece of a greater cycle. It's recognition that things have changed, and that they may indeed change again. Reason #785 to love Hanson: They seldom let us down.