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why I returned Ravi's book How many of you have ever considered sending a letter to that special someone after you realize that he or she just doesn't have the same feelings for you? I suspect more than one person can say that they have considered this idea . . . maybe you, like myself, have even written a letter like this. It's filled with all the details you remember about being together. You sift through every memory, because maybe -- just maybe -- the clue to why you should still be friends is buried in a look, a smile or an off-hand comment. But even when songs like "Lucy" give you hope that one day that person will regret leaving you, you know deep down that what's inside your letter is more for yourself than anyone else. Dancin' with Hanson by Ravi, one of Hanson's former back-up musicians, took me by surprise because its tone was very much like a high schooler who has been dumped. I had pre-ordered the book before knowing the nature of its contents. After receiving it, I felt it was much MORE revealing about the author, than Hanson. Ravi remembers obscure details from conversations and random incidents:
The irony of these reflections is that they are intended to reveal the intimacy Ravi shared with the band, when in reality, he has memorialized his time with them . . . A memorial marks something that has passed away -- it's history. As he attempts to piece together exactly why he was replaced, Ravi reveals his disappointment. Feeling bad about leaving people he's come to care about is normal, but it's poor judgment to publish his regret for others to read. It just doesn't do anything to repair the relationship he desperately wants to restore. My feeling is that Ravi truly cared for Isaac, Taylor and Zac. Tragically, he made the unfortunate decision to write a book that will make it impossible to maintain a friendship with them. To say that Ravi's motive in publishing his book was purely financial is partly unfair. However, the fact that he was a paid member of the Hanson staff already puts restrictions on the kind of friendship he had with the guys or will ever have with them in the future. Money puts an uncomfortable spin on everything. Ravi alludes to professional decisions made by Hanson throughout the book I was struck by how young entertainers are surrounded by people who view them as a product to be bought and sold. It chilled me to think about how this fact would naturally begin to cast suspicion on any "friendship" that is rooted in a business relationship. Ravi confuses the two . . . worse, he believed his business relationship entitled him to friendship. The temptation to profit from a friendship is common, yet the stakes were much higher for Ravi -- and for Hanson. It's unfortunate that this book has already caused pain for Hanson's close friends. I feel somewhat like an accessory to this betrayal by having read the book. However, my motive for returning the book to the publisher was not just guilt for having read it. This book caused me to examine how I treat the band -- on this page and as a fan. I hope this question willl be the message that Ravi's poor judgment will write on the hearts and minds of those who read his book. It's too bad that while he was in the band they chose not to play the fourth track from Middle of Nowhere. Perhaps, the title and lyrics would have given him reason to think: Speechless The way you walk
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