Poetry || i need gills

the ocean taunts me
the soft murmur of the waves
whispers "you are real"
i do not feel real
i am a ghost of someone who
was, is, will be
amongst the crowd i am
but an aimless wanderer
an illusion of a woman who
ceased to exist years ago
my broken heart is non-existant
my thoughts, a jumble of
incoherent words and phrases
my body rots from lack of use
the river inside me stopped flowing
i am a ghost of the girl who
loved the ocean
who could find peace among the fish
i am a fish
the currents play with my body
i don't have control over myself
i am stranded on the shore
gasping for air (i need gills)
my lungs can't stand the change
in pressure
and i cease to be
"you are real" it whispers
salty water washes away the pain
and i believe it's blue skies
and it's white, foamy waves
natures calls me
i will answer someday