The imperfections:

Ensmaple One

Problem: The Body Language and Evolution Addiction
It's quite infamous. The boy thinks hand gestures are a preferred method of communication. But we can't tell him they're annoying. It would break his heart. And it would be weird if he stopped using them all the sudden. And he always uses the hands to emphasize the word 'evolve'. He loves 'evolve'. He probably said it a little to prove the evolution of the band, and then it evolved to saying evolved all the time, and maybe he will never evolve out of it. It gives him a vibe, I guess. I wonder if someday we'll be walking down the streets of Tulsa (that's a pretty small possibility, for me at least) and see a guy in a trench coat (we know you own one, Taylor) and a shopping cart talking with his hands, making them say 'evolve'. Parish the thought.

The Cause:
Nervous habits are often caused by insecurities. Remember the Taylor that blushed, with the big blue eyes and golden hair? Who dressed to kill and liked red jellybeans? *pause* He's exactly the same, only bigger. What's wrong with him? Is he insane?

Possible Solution:
Tying up his hands would be too obvious. So just get an electric shock collar and when you see him start to raise his hand (Zac, this is your job) hit the button. Quickly. This may cause some awkward yelping at first, but no system is perfect.

What's Probably Really Happening:
It's just one of his quirks and he doesn't even notice he's doing it.

Ensample Two

Problem: The Stomping
It was most apparent on the Albertane Tour. (Not that I saw them or anything...) To keep the beat (so we think) Taylor has to resemble some sort of Bug-Squisher Champion.

The Cause:
When Taylor was a little boy, big kids down the street named Chad and Bruce used to tell him that the house he lived in was haunted. After telling this to Ike, Big Brother said don't worry, it's not, and knock three time on the floor if you want me. (Ike had that Tony Orlando Reverse complex, but we never talk about that.) Ever since, Taylor has had a phobia of floors and that warning stuck in the back of his mind.

Possible Solution:
Exorcism.

What's Probably Really Happening:
He needs to do something with his feet, I mean come on.

Ensample Three:

Problem: The Groping
He does it less now, but he always had that hand placed on the inner thigh. Again, he probably didn't notice it, but being the obsessed people we are, we did.

The Cause:

He had a bruise there he was afraid we'd see, even though he's wearing khaki pants
He wants us to analyze this. (ohhh he's a sneaky fella)
He has a stain on his pants
Some reason we don't wanna know

Possible Solution:
Every time he moves his hand give him a peck on the nose. That way you both win.

What's Probably Really happening:
I have no idea. Why would someone grope themself in public?

Ensample 4

Problem: The Leg Crossing
Personally I don't mind it, but apparently it bugs the hell out of everyone else. I think it's kinda cute, myself.

The Cause:
Um... well... he wanted to be different?

Possible Solution:
I can't really think of one without being kinda gross. I mean these are his legs we're talking about.

What's Probably Really happening:
Oh to see into the young male mind...