Problem: Lack of Leads
99.8% of songs he does get are ballads, which seem to greatly typecast his vocal ability. Maybe he only likes ballads, I don't know, I've never met the man.

Cause:
The Chick Magnet. Uh huh, heartthrob. Taylor, of course, has a lovely voice, but it's overused. Why does Isaac, the oldest, allow himself to be so easily pushed around? Easy. Tay is an inch taller than him and outweighs him by about 40 pounds. Hence, since Tay has a natural advantage, and Zac has his own problems, all is left to Mr. Prettyboy Frontman. Oh well. If they got Tay lead on Love Song, I would have had to drive to Tulsa and hurt him. Or worse, hurt his car.

Possible Solution:
Keep all of Tay's leather hostage until he gets over his ego problem.

What's Probably Really Happening:
Tay would do most songs better; Ike is more enlightened than the rest of us and doesn't need every lead.

Ensample Two

Problem: Self Esteem
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who noticed this. He always lets Zac and/or Tay cut him off in a sentence. He was quoted as thinking he "stinks" as a guitarist. Oh Isaac. Dear, sweet, innocent Isaac. You are one of the most non-stinking guitarists I am aware of. You shall always have my respect.

Cause:
Hmm...this is a tough one. This will require several answers.

Maybe since he's the big brother he has to act like a parent. Like making the younger kids take baths. {imaginary conversation sequence}
"Mac, you jumped in the mud, You have to get clean."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"Do not."
"Do too."
"You're stupid, Ike."
Those ever-so-kind teen magazine polls. 16's Top 12 Cute Guys Under 21. Who the purgatory cares?! We know he's not gonna make it. Because he's not pretty. He's beautiful. And beauty doesn't sell in case you haven't noticed.
Jonny Lang.

And quite frankly, he doesn't get enough attention.

Possible Solution:
Group hugs. Any volunteers? *raises hand*

What's Probably Really Happening:
Like I said, teen magazines and the media in general like pretty people. They can't handle true beauty yet. God love 'em. God help them.

Ensample 3

Problem: Confusion.
Everything is related. He uses big words and gets flowery. We look at him with a mixture of awe and terror. He scares us. So, either he has to use such language to make himself feel better, or he's smart and I'm bitter. Half the time I have no idea what the h-e-double-drumsticks he's talking about. Example:
"...that you find yourself suddenly hurled into a whirling tundra of inspiration, as ideas burst forth from within you like seeds of musical knowledge thrown on the fresh soil of the most fertile pasture.". *runs away screaming*
And then there's that whole "goofy-stupid" thing that I won't even touch...and the "whoa" conversation.

Cause:
The self esteem issue? Reading too much Reader's Digest? Being college-aged and living in a homeschooling environment, which is good, trust me? Who knows?!

Possible Solution:
Give me that dictionary young man. Now.

What's Probably Really happening:
He's smart. He reads. He creates music. Music education=brain power. Don't you ever watch VH-1?

Ensample 4

Problem: The Movie Impersonations
Oh god, Ike, why? Why why why, a million times over, why? I have spent my life avoiding CaddyShack, and now you quote it. Several times. Don't get me wrong, I adore So I Married An Aex Murderer, just... Ike, please, don't do Austin Powers anymore. Please? *big blue eyes*

Cause:
This is just a humble reminder that he is just... a guy. The movies, Tommy Boy, CaddyShack, they're guy movies. It's a guy thing. I think.

Possible Solution:
There is no help. All I can offer is a copy of Jane Erye.

What's Probably Really happening:
How should I know? I'm a girl last time I checked. Which isn't often. But I just know I am. Ya know?

-Domicile-